“Life is thickly sown with thorns, and I know no other remedy than to pass quickly through them. The longer we dwell on our misfortunes, the greater is their power to harm us.”
—Voltaire
Life is not easy. We all suffer pain and disappointment, and sometimes we fall flat on our faces. Some of us encounter more thorns than others, but nobody escapes them all. If we try to bypass all the thorns of life, we will also bypass many of life’s pleasures, because if we want roses, we must accept the thorns that come with them.
A certain amount of pain is necessary if we want to live full and productive lives. We should try to avoid needless suffering, but we must remember that suffering is just as much a natural part of life as joy and happiness. We cannot avoid suffering, but we do have some control over the duration of most suffering. When we have losses in life, grieving is a natural and necessary response to those losses, but we shouldn’t spend the rest of our lives grieving over losses. Life is for the living, so after a reasonable period of grieving over the loss of a loved one, we should try to focus on our relationships with those loved ones who are still alive.
I know this is very hard to do. When we lose those who have been very dear to our hearts, it can almost seem like the end of the world. The deceased person has been such an integral part of our life that things can never be the same without them. But we can build new lives by cultivating and strengthening relationships with those who are still alive.
My mother was 62 years old when she lost my father. During the decades between my father’s passing and hers, my mother lavished love on her family and friends to such a degree that those years were probably the best years of her life. Yes, she missed my father, but she found renewed joy in spreading love to almost every person with whom she came into contact.
Throughout her life, Mom traveled through patch after patch of thorns, and she suffered a great deal of pain. She followed the advice of Voltaire, though, and traveled quickly through the thorns. She grieved her losses, and then got on with life. Instead of dwelling on the misfortunes of the past, she focused on the present and the future.
Unfortunately, some people continue to dwell on their misfortunes for as long as they live. Instead of grieving losses as they come along, they tend to cling to each loss like a heavy brick. Their sadness becomes similar to a bag of bricks that gets heavier and heavier the farther they travel life’s journey. With all that extra weight of sadness that they are carrying, they never really experience true and lasting happiness, because they are not able to jettison any of those bricks, no matter how many good things happen in their lives.
Think about it.
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Copyright 2025
Allen W. Smith
