“Children are precious gifts from God on loan to us only until they become old enough to take charge of their own lives.”
–Anonymous
God entrusts us with the care of children during those years when the children are not old enough to take care of themselves or make mature, independent decisions. The few years that children are in our trust are critical for their future well-being. Children need lots of love, nurturing and preparation for the time when they will take charge of their own lives. Some children receive the love, nurturing and preparation for independence that they need from their parents, but many children are shortchanged.
Some parents view their children as possessions whose purpose is to fulfill the desires and needs of the parents instead of viewing them as the temporary, precious gifts from God that they really are. Every child is a child of God on loan to its parents until it is old enough to take control of its own life. The role of the parents is to love and nurture the children, and to do everything in their power to prepare the children for adulthood when they are to take full charge of their own lives.
Contrary to God’s purpose, some parents attempt to groom their children for their own selfish purposes. Instead of preparing the children for independent lives of their own, these parents attempt to make the children extensions of themselves, and they do everything in their power to gain permanent control of the child’s thinking and behavior. In short, they attempt to groom their children for the purpose of serving the parent for as long as the parent lives. If the children of such parents are prevented from having access to other people and other ideas with regard to the appropriate parent-child relationship, the children may come to believe that their primary purpose in life is to obey, and care for, their own parents.
In the words of Abraham Lincoln, “Love is the chain whereby to bind a child to his parents.” Parents who give their children lots of unconditional love are far more likely to have lifelong, loving relationships with their children than those parents who try to develop control over their children for selfish purposes.
Noted Swiss psychologist and psychiatrist Carl Jung said, “Where love rules, there is no will to power; and where power predominates, there love is lacking.” Parents who truly love their children will have no desire to exercise control over their lives once they become adults. Likewise, parents who want to continue to have power over their children’s lives after the children become adults show evidence of a lack of true love for their children.
The proper role of parents is to help their children pursue their own dreams–not to pressure the children into pursuing the dreams the parents have for them.
Think about it.
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Copyright 2026
Allen W. Smith
