“One kind word can warm three winter months.”
–Japanese saying
Kindness is one of the most precious ingredients known to mankind, and kind words and actions can sometimes almost move mountains. We live in such a harsh and cold world that we all need as much warmth and sunshine as we can get. We also need to give as much warmth to others as we are capable of giving. To some of us, kindness seems so natural that we cannot understand why some people are so stingy with it and seem to go out of their way to be unkind to those around them.
It is hard to understand the behavior of those who seem to be unable to show kindness to others, but psychologists are very familiar with the actions and personality traits of such people. These people are so selfish that they are totally wrapped up in themselves. Everything they do is motivated by their desire to please themselves. Psychologists refer to such people as having personality disorders, and they use the word narcissist to describe those individuals who are totally obsessed with self-love.
These people may have no desire to do good or to be kind, but they are absolutely obsessed with the need to be thought of as good. In other words, their public image is of the utmost importance to them. They often manage to develop and maintain a public image of being extraordinarily nice people. Yet in their personal family lives they may be unbelievably cruel, and engage in vicious spouse or child abuse on a regular basis. Their victims are usually afraid to report the abuser to anyone because they have been threatened that they will be severely punished if they do. As a result, some of the cruelest people have a positive public image because they work so hard to maintain that image. They have no genuine desire to be kind or good, but it is crucial to them that they be thought of in that way. They will often do extraordinary favors for people outside of their family if doing so enhances their positive image in the community.
Most of us are neither extremely kind nor unkind, and we don’t give the matter much thought. But we should give it a lot of thought because we have the capacity to do so much good with kind words and actions. It takes so little effort to give compliments and words of encouragement to those with whom we come into contact, yet it can often make an enormous difference to the recipients. And acts of kindness, random or otherwise, often have so much more impact on people than any of us realize. Shouldn’t we all concentrate a little more effort in the form of kind words and deeds to others?
Think about it.
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Copyright 2026
Allen W. Smith
