“He is happiest, be he king or peasant, who finds peace in his home.”
–Johann Wolfgang
Von Goeth
Most of us yearn for peace in the world, but the world is a big place, and we have so little control over most of it. We do, however, have a great deal of control over a tiny corner of the world–our home.
Let us start our quest for peace by trying to bring peace to our own home and family unit. Some families work as a team to maintain a harmonious and loving relationship. They are polite to each other, and when there are disagreements, they try to work out their problems calmly and in a spirit of compromise. This is very possible if every family member cooperates and strives for a harmonious relationship. It is not possible when one or more members of the family unit are overly selfish and willing to make a scene in order to get their way.
In far too many cases, the family unit is operated more like a dictatorship than a democracy. One member of the family manages to rise to a position of power by manipulating the other members into subordinate roles. In a marriage, it may be either the wife or the husband who dominates the rest of the family. If the other members of the family hate confrontations, they may become submissive in order to avoid conflict. If they manage to maintain any kind of peace in the family, it is at a very high price of submission. The more submissive the subordinates become, the higher the demands for still more submission by the “dictator.” Such a relationship usually involves both verbal and psychological abuse.
Those of us who live in a family unit in which every member wants and works toward a peaceful relationship are more fortunate than most of us realize. There is a mutual desire to please one another that works to everyone’s advantage. By contrast, some families live in an almost constant state of bickering. This reduces the quality of life for everyone, and it makes no rational sense. Sometimes the problem is one of poor or nonexistent communication. This problem might be resolved by periodic family meetings where each and every member of the family feels free to express their grievances and their desires for changes. If everyone is willing to make compromises, the increased communications can lead to greater harmony in the family.
However, if one or more of the family members are unwilling to make compromises, and insists on getting their way all the time, there may be an insurmountable problem. Nobody is entitled to get his or her way all the time at the expense of other family members, and unlimited appeasement can never bring lasting peace to a relationship.
Think about it.
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Copyright 2024
Allen W. Smith
