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Victim Advocate Analisa Scofield of Alice’s Place in Winslow recently gave a presentation to over 500 Winslow High School students regarding teen dating violence and tools to recognize it.
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“I wanted to do this presentation because teens are experiencing dating violence at an alarming rate. I don’t like statistics, because I truly can’t wait for the day that there are zero cases, but that is not today. It is estimated that one in four teenage girls will experience violence or abuse in some form in their dating relationships. That number is closer to one in seven for teenage boys.”
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She explained that dating violence and abuse are not always of the physical kind. “Abuse has many different faces. If your partner is displaying controlling behaviors like checking your phone or your social media, that is abuse. If your partner is being possessive and telling you who you can and cannot talk to, that is abuse. Of course, any time you feel you are pressured for sex or physical pain is inflicted, that is abuse. Some other examples that some teens don’t think of as abuse are belittling, being excessively jealous or isolating you from your friends and family. All of these things are unacceptable in healthy relationships.”
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Scofield continued, “You know, we are taught the basics of education as students. Reading, writing, math, but no one ever teaches students what healthy relationships look like and no one ever talks about emotional education. We are doing our children a disservice by not working with them to develop coping skills and to recognize warning signs of abuse or violence in their dating lives.”
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Those warning signs are multiple, she said ranging from mood swings and explosive tempers to making false accusations of partners. “The thing is this pattern of behavior is not specific to one gender, or race, or socio-economic background. Abuse can and does happen to anyone.”
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In Scofield’s presentation to freshmen, sophomores and seniors, she gave them resource information from Alice’s Place, as well as their dating rights.
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Dating rights are basic examples of what teens, and adults, should expect from any romantic or platonic relationship. “That is something that they need to be aware of as well. Everyone has the right to be treated as an equal, make decisions about their own bodies, live without fear or intimidation and of course, retain privacy from their partners.”
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Scofield is passionate about educating teens on what to expect from relationships. She expressed the notion that not all of the students have had examples put forth to them in their lives. “Some of these kids have never seen what a healthy relationship looks like. Whether they are from single parent homes, or both parents are in the picture, not all of them realize that dad yelling at mom or vice versa is not normal and it is not acceptable.”
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Alice’s Place is the local Winslow domestic violence shelter and resource center. Contact them at (928) 289-3003, or at www.alicesplaceshelter.org. The National Teen Dating Abuse Hotline can be reached toll free at 1 (866) 331-9474 or by texting LOVEIS to 22552.
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